The Next Adventures of Amy T

MWAH!

2008-11-14T17:30:00.000-08:00

Want to blog but have blogger's block. So, I offer up a "Heya!" to my friends in L.A. to remind them that I am thinking of them and praying for them. MWAH!

No Freedom for Indianapolis Freedom Writers

2008-06-29T17:18:00.000-07:00

Consistency in blogging is not my strong suit. I watched a video today about a case involving a teacher in Indianapolis who decided to use the book "Freedom Writers" for her high school English class. The school board stalled on the use of the book as a text so she sent home 150 permission slips before the start of school. 149 came back as yes. I don't know if parents were warned in the permission slips that the book contained profanity/street language. The teacher wanted to use the text because the authors were high school students from the Long Beach, CA area who came from urban neighborhoods and she believed that her students could relate to the journey that the high school students took in "Freedom Writers." She passed out the book and got suspended. The school board ruled that she was not to use the book because of the offensive language.
I have no power over that school board, but I want to express my opinion. I believe that language should be used for beauty and not filth. It should be used to praise God, our great Creator.
The thing is, I had to grow to love language. Shakespeare contains plenty of innuendo. The Groundlings had to understand something (though I'm certain that the nobles enjoyed it just as much).
I've heard the way that some persons from depressed sections of urban, hey, even rural areas speak. It is not "Good morning, Mrs. Cleaver. How nice to see you today." I am sad that the school board did not place confidence in their students to gain a love for language. I am sad that the school board allowed words such as f**king, sh**, etc. to stand in the way of learning. I am willing to presume that many of their students hear and use such language already so much so that they would not find such language shocking. I am sad that such a point is true, but it is. However, when a writer is young, he or she needs to have the opportunity to find his or her voice. I pray for the students in that school to find their voice. Perhaps as they explore writing they will come to find more beautiful phrasing and poetry beyond our imagination. Perhaps God would use a book that contains offensive language to reveal His truth to one of those children. Perhaps one of those children would turn to a Bible to find excellent narratives and poetry to capture their hearts for Him.
But no, the school board says that "Freedom Writers" is too offensive for their school's population to read. Well, this is America. The children have the freedom to find a copy of "Freedom Writers" and read it for themselves if they like. But where could they find a copy of the book that is inexpensive? They could look in the THE SCHOOL LIBRARY since a copy of the book is available to check out there.
Sounds like the school board is clearly demonstrating to the students how to talk out of both sides of their mouths. Talk about offensive language.

Prayers for Danny Please

2008-06-09T08:50:00.000-07:00

A friend from church enlisted in the Marines. His name is Danny (I think he's 19-22) and his mom and family are taking this really hard. He shipped off to boot camp a day or so ago. They are worried for his safety, etc.
Please keep Danny and his family in your prayers. Thanks.

Warning to Ladies In Search of Love

2008-05-01T21:07:00.000-07:00

Though I was never one to believe in subliminal messages, I recently decided to stay away from one product.
Many months ago, I thought that I would treat myself to a more expensive than usual body lotion. I chose "Body Butter" from The Body Shop (R). I used it before two dates both of which turned out to be last dates with my respective suitors.
One morning when I went to put on the butter that felt oh so soft and smelled delicious, I wondered to myself why I felt like men kept leaving me. What kind of message was I sending them? What kind of message was I sending myself? Then as if the heavens parted and the choir started singing, I looked down at jar as I went to remove the lid from my precious body butter. There was my answer.
MAN-GO Body Butter.
I knew I should have went with the Olive Oil scent...Popeye is crazy about her.

My Own Little Corner Relocated

2008-04-11T21:48:00.000-07:00

No sooner do I post that I have my own place than we have a family meeting. After discussing the matter with my present "landlords", I decided to stay. When I arrived at work, I learned that talk of another job cut is swirling. I'm the newest kid on the block so I just might be the one on the chopping block so my re-decision came at a very good time. Best not to enter a lease now.

My Own Little Corner

2008-04-11T05:31:00.000-07:00

I've been praying for my own place. I appreciate the help that my dad & step-mother have given me since I returned from L.A. and I now need my own space. So I lifted prayers for a place that: is in a safe (relative term) neighborhood (I stated my preferred neighborhood in my prayers), affordable (stated top figure), and had a place to park. Since I still owe on a few evil beings called credit cards, rather than save for a place, I paid extra on one of the cards equivalent to a month's rent and even made an extra payment. Guess what happened. I found a place.
It's a tiny furnished efficiency located about 15 minutes from my dad & step-mother's place so I can continue to help around the house and take each of them to doctor's or chemo appointments. I almost did not take the place because it's not as beautiful as other apartments that I've had. Then when I started looking at the place and calculating it's location, I realized that it was an answer to my prayer. I was basically insulting God's provision.
The apartment is a little place where I can stay on my own, pay down bills, and finish school. I can even stay there after graduation for awhile because it is well located for work in Pittsburgh as well as the Northern suburbs and Beaver County (where I work now).
I'm blessed...it is located near some shops and other places that make wonderful walking desinations.
I learned to keep my eyes open to God's blessings.

A NoHo Evening 2.5 years ago

2008-04-01T08:30:00.000-07:00

Not much to blog about today. While I was cleaning yesterday, I found a bunch of photos that I took on 10/15/05 when I lived in the NoHo Arts District of North Hollywood, CA. I had some fun with Kodak Easyshare (R) this morning and edited them.
I went out that evening as an "Artist Date". I was reading "The Artist's Way" at the time. I don't believe that I ever finished the book. I think I got stuck around Week 8. Maybe I will return to the structure of the book. Presently, I use what I learned as far as I did in the book.
Examining the original photos and discovering the images that I wanted to share energized me this morning. The edited photos are displayed on my myspace page, which I linked to this blog. I even put together a slide show. Fun!
Here are 4 of my favorites:

The Fight in Flight

2008-03-30T14:43:00.000-07:00

I just returned from Pittsburgh City Theatre Company's production of "Flight" by Charlayne Woodard (aka Sister Peg from Law & Order: SVU). The production was beautiful. It runs at the theatre until April 6.
The story surrounds 5 slaves who help an unseen 9 year old slave boy deal with the sale of his mother by telling him stories from their folklore. The play is wonderfully crafted. Rare is it for me to walk away from a production wanting more -- wanting to know more about the lives of the characters and the stories that they shared with me. Today, I want to know more about "Little Jim", his mother "Sadie", his father "Nate" and "Mercy" and the other members of his new family.
In the masters program I attend, we are studying African and African-American culture. One of the points brought out in my studies is the collective nature of the culture and the influence of spirituality. The stories shared in this production illustrate these aspects of the culture.
The actors' connections with the material resonates. The house was brought to its feet at the conclusion of the tales.
As an actor, I vicariously shared in their connection with the material. To be able to share a story that is part of me and to have the opportunity to play roles within roles, takes my breathe away. Much like the company did for me today.
I am honored.

Tickets for "Flight" at: http://www.citytheatrecompany.org/

Follow Up on the Obama Debate

2008-03-08T07:03:00.000-08:00

A month or so ago I set off a firestorm by questioning a chain email about Senator Obama. I provided a link to Senator Obama's website and a speech that he gave defending his faith. That speech also provided his position regarding issues of a baby's life or as the press calls it "Right to Life".
This issue is the very issue on which I disagree with Senator Obama. In the past, I expressed my opinion against so called "Pro Choice" positions on partial birth abortions to Senator Boxer when I was a California resident and received a turse email response from her office.
This morning one of my friends forwarded to me an editorial by former senator, Rick Santorum. In the article, Mr. Santorum points out Senator Obama's extreme liberal position on the issue. Learning that Senator Obama is considered more dogmatic than Senator Boxer about this issue churned my stomach.
I am reprinting a copy of Rick Santorum's editorial for your review. I know that some of my friends view him as one step short of a Nazi or a carpetbagger who finally got pushed out of office while other friends of mine wish that he was still in office. Forget what you think about the former senator. Please read this article and pray about the issues that Mr. Santorum brings to the surface.
After reading the article & listening to Senator Obama's speech, I am left asking...How far and to whom does "A New Hope"* extend?

Posted on Thu, Feb. 28, 2008**

The Elephant in the Room: Obama: A harsh ideologue hidden by a feel-good image
By Rick Santorum
American voters will choose between two candidates this election year. One inspires hope for a brighter, better tomorrow. His rhetoric makes us feel we are, indeed, one nation indivisible - indivisible by ideology or religion, indivisible by race or creed. It is rhetoric of hope and change and possibility. It's inspiring. This candidate can make you just plain feel good to be American.
The other candidate, by contrast, is one of the Senate's fiercest partisans. This senator reflexively sides with the party's extreme wing. There's no record of working with the other side of the aisle. None. It's basically been my way or the highway, combined with a sanctimoniousness that breeds contempt among those on the other side of any issue.
Which of these two candidates should be our next president? The choice is clear, right?
Wrong, because they're both the same man - Barack Obama.
Granted, the first-term Illinois senator's lofty rhetoric of bipartisanship, unity, hope and change makes everyone feel good. But it's becoming increasingly clear that his grand campaign rhetoric does not match his partisan, ideological record. The nonpartisan National Journal, for example, recently rated Obama the Senate's most liberal member. That's besting some tough competition from orthodox liberals such as Ted Kennedy and Barbara Boxer.
John McCain's campaign and conservative pundits have listed the numerous times in Obama's short Senate career where he sided with the extremes in his party against broadly supported compromises on issues such as immigration, ethics reform, terrorist surveillance and war funding. Fighting on the fringe with a handful of liberals is one thing, but consider his position on an issue that passed both houses of Congress unanimously in 2002.
That bill was the Born Alive Infants Protection Act. During the partial-birth abortion debate, Congress heard testimony about babies that had survived attempted late-term abortions. Nurses testified that these preterm living, breathing babies were being thrown into medical waste bins to die or being "terminated" outside the womb. With the baby now completely separated from the mother, it was impossible to argue that the health or life of the mother was in jeopardy by giving her baby appropriate medical treatment. The act simply prohibited the killing of a baby born alive.
To address the concerns of pro-choice lawmakers, the bill included language that said nothing "shall be construed to affirm, deny, expand or contract any legal status or legal right" of the baby. In other words, the bill wasn't intruding on Roe v. Wade.
Who would oppose a bill that said you couldn't kill a baby who was born? Not Kennedy, Boxer or Hillary Rodham Clinton. Not even the hard-core National Abortion Rights Action League (NARAL). Obama, however, is another story. The year after the Born Alive Infants Protection Act became federal law in 2002, identical language was considered in a committee of the Illinois Senate. It was defeated with the committee's chairman, Obama, leading the opposition.
Let's be clear about what Obama did, once in 2003 and twice before that. He effectively voted for infanticide. He voted to allow doctors to deny medically appropriate treatment or, worse yet, actively kill a completely delivered living baby. Infanticide - I wonder if he'll add this to the list of changes in his next victory speech and if the crowd will roar: "Yes, we can."
How could someone possibly justify such a vote? In March 2001, Obama was the sole speaker in opposition to the bill on the floor of the Illinois Senate. He said: "We're saying they are persons entitled to the kinds of protections provided to a child, a 9-month child delivered to term. I mean, it would essentially bar abortions, because the equal-protection clause does not allow somebody to kill a child." So according to Obama, "they," babies who survive abortions or any other preterm newborns, should be permitted to be killed because giving legal protection to preterm newborns would have the effect of banning all abortions.
Justifying the killing of newborn babies is deeply troubling, but just as striking is his rigid adherence to doctrinaire liberalism. Apparently, the "audacity of hope" is limited only to those babies born at full term and beyond. Worse, given his support for late-term partial-birth abortions that supporters argued were necessary to end the life of genetically imperfect children, it may be more accurate to say the audacity of hope applies only to those babies born healthy at full term.
Obama's supporters say his rhetoric makes them believe again. Is this the kind of change and leader you believe in?
E-mail Rick Santorum at santorum@phillynews.com.

*"A New Hope" quoted from http://www.barackobama.com/index.php, retrieved 3/8/08.
** Reprinted from http://www.philly.com/ "The Philadelphia Inquirer"
Other candidates websites
http://www.votehillary.org/
http://www.johnmccain.com/
http://www.mikehuckabee.com/
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/

Why Teach Art & Humanities?

2008-03-06T12:37:00.000-08:00

The following is a reprint of an email that I received from Breakpoint Ministries.
The author is Chuck Colson. I reprint the article with a link to the Breakpoint website because I argee wholeheartedly with Mr. Colson's point.

http://www.breakpoint.org/listingarticle.asp?ID=7620

Justifying Art A Response to Stanley Fish
March 6, 2008
How do you justify art and the humanities?
That is the provocative question asked in a recent New York Times column by Stanley Fish. His answer was simple: You do not have to. "They are," he wrote, "their own good." I tend to agree, but I reach my conclusion from an entirely different perspective than he does.
Fish, the famous postmodernist professor, was unhappy about a government report on the state of higher education in New York State, in which "all the emphasis is on science, partnerships with industry, and advances in technology."
Fish went on to add, "If there is to be a brave new world in New York higher education, it doesn't look as if the humanities and the arts will be a significant part of it."
I would say that holds true for schools across the country. Think about it: How often have you heard anyone say that our kids need to do better at math and science? Often. But, when was the last time you heard it said that they need to study more art, or literature, or music?
You get the idea.
But as Fish acknowledges, his line of thinking raises a question: Why do we need to teach the arts in schools? As a secular humanist, he says, it would be easy for him to go along with the traditional humanistic idea that the arts and humanities "ennoble" us by inspiring us to want to be like the great heroes portrayed in art and literature.
But Fish cannot buy into that. "If it were true," he notes dryly, "the most generous, patient, good-hearted, and honest people on earth would be the members of literature and philosophy departments, who spend every waking hour with great books and great thoughts. And," Fish continued, "as someone who's been there (for 45 years), I can tell you it just isn't so."
Moreover, Fish believes that that is exactly "how it should be. Teachers of literature and philosophy are competent in a subject, not in a ministry. It is not the business of the humanities to save us."
I agree, but let me illustrate why. You may remember a much acclaimed movie a few years back called The Pianist. The film told how music transformed a Nazi officer into a man willing to feed and shelter a Jewish musician. That was not an accurate picture, however. In real life, the officer who saved the musician did so not because he loved music, but because he was "an ardent Catholic who abhorred Nazism." Many Nazis loved music, but music itself did not "ennoble" them. It just gave them a welcome respite from murdering Jews and other innocent victims.
So what are the arts and humanities good for? Here is where I think the Christian worldview provides an answer that Fish cannot grasp. They teach that God made humans creative beings, like Himself. The works of art we create—sculpture, literature, drama—reflect the glory and beauty of the Creator of life. This is what gives the arts their intrinsic value. Any beneficial effect that they might have on human thinking—and usually they do have such effects—is a good thing, but it is not why we create, and it does not add or detract from the value of art.
No, the humanities cannot save us, but because their mere existence speaks of and glorifies our Creator, they are more than justified.

Jibber Jabber Jibber Jabber

2008-02-26T18:59:00.001-08:00

I feel really weird blogging about my fear that I talk too much since blogging involves a long expression of personal thought. My fear was heightened tonight with an off the cuff comment made by one of my classmates.
Perhaps my recent sleep deprivation and my concern about my stepmother's upcoming surgery has made me more sensitive. Perhaps those two concern have made me so nervous that I talk even more.
Whatever the cause and whether I am talking too much or not, I use these words now to ask for prayers for my stepmother. The surgery will be early this Thursday morning. The doctors will be removing part of her liver which I understand grows back. My concern is that as much of the cancer gets removed as possible and that the spreading is contained.
Strange to feel so worried about someone who you used to despise.

Top 3 Things That Made Me Smile Today

2008-01-15T20:11:00.000-08:00

Number 3: I got an A- on my ethics exam.
Number 2: God sent me a clear message on a big issue.
Number 1: I am loved and can, therefore, love others.

Still Considering

2008-01-09T14:48:00.000-08:00

I'm still pondering my vote. Will not reveal its outcome on this blog. I'm reading what I can.
I have concerns about Gov. Huckabee -- the ethics violations make my stomach churn. The governor states that the accusations came from political enemies. Only one was overturned. I'm not saying that a Christian needs to be perfect. Afterall, we are being perfected. I am saying that I appreciate integrity. A person of integrity does what he or she says he or she will do and when the promise gets broken or a mistake gets made, wrongdoing is admitted.
I realize that admitting wrong is political suicide. Still, my conscience would dog me until I owned up or, as the bible refers to it, confessed.
McCain won New Hampshire. He's been working against the system in the system.
Romney is out in of the running for me. He's too -- slick. Have to go with my intuition on that one.
Guilliani -- he's America's mayor. I've got misgivings there as far as his standpoint on a couple issues.
Former Senator Thompson interests me, but I barely hear anything from him. And I'd miss the Law & Order repeats. Okay, that's a bad joke.
Oh, this election is beginning to feel like a bad joke.

Chuck Colson Weighs in on Political New Year

2008-01-04T06:44:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to one and all!
As a result of the chain email debate, one of my friends referred me to www.oneplace.com and Chuck Colson's New Year's Breakpoint message. He eloquently states our responsiblity as Believers to vote for someone who is trustworthy and capable.
May God guide us in all of our decisions.

"The Year Ahead" - Chuck Colson
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/BreakPoint/archives.asp?bcd=1/2/2008

For Breakpoint views of the Iowa results, check out their blog at
http://thepoint.breakpoint.org/

When (Presumed) Republicans Argue...

2007-12-29T14:33:00.000-08:00

NONE OF THE INFORMATION CONTAINED IN THIS BLOG IS AN ENDORSEMENT FOR ANY POLITICAL CANDIDATE. My apologies to former Kerry supporters who were able to engage in civil debate in the previous presidential election. I wish I had met you.

I am posting a copy of an email chain letter that made its way to me, my response to it, the response that I received from the person (name removed) who started it around my section of the clique though not directly to me, then my response to that person's response. I figured that someone might appreciate some level of irony in this matter because I don't believe that any of the persons involved in the discussion are registered democrats meaning that the candidate discussed would not appear on our ballots in May.

Subject: Who is Barack Obama
Who is Barack Obama?
Probable U.S. presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama was born in Honolulu , Hawaii, to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr. a black MUSLIM from Nyangoma-Kogel, Kenya and Ann Dunham, a white ATHIEST from Wichita , Kansas .
Obama's parents met at the University of Hawaii . When Obama was 2 years old, his parents divorced. His father returned to Kenya . His mother then married Lolo Soetoro, a RADICAL Muslim from Indonesia . When Obama was 6 years old the family relocated to Indonesia . Obama attended a MUSLIM school in Jakarta . He also spent 2 years in a Catholic school.
Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a Muslim. He is quick to point out that 'He was once a Muslim, but that he also attended Catholic School ' Obama's political handlers are attempting to make it appear that Obama's introduction to Islam came via his father, and that this influence was temporary at best. In reality, the senior Obama returned to Kenya soon after the divorce, and never again had any direct influence over his son's education.
Lolo Soetoro, the second husband of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham, introduced his stepson to Islam. Obama was enrolled in a Wahabi school in Jakarta .
Wahabism is the RADICAL teaching that is followed by the Muslim terrorists who are now waging Jihad against the western world.
Since it is politically expedient to be a CHRISTIAN when seeking Major public office in the United States , Barack Hussein has joined the United Church of Christ in an attempt to downplay his Muslim background.
Let us all remain alert concerning Obama's expected presidential candidacy.
The Muslims have said they plan on destroying the U.S. from the inside out, what better way to start than at the highest level - through the President of the United States , one of their own!!!
Also, keep in mind that when he was sworn into office - he DID NOT use the Holy Bible, but instead the Kuran (their equavilancy to our Bible, but very different beliefs)
HE WILL NOT EVEN S AY THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE!!!!!!!!
Please forward to everyone you know. Would you want this man leading our country? .........NOT ME!!!!

My response:

I am extremely saddened by the [referenced]email.I am providing the recepients with a link to a video on Senator Obama's website concerning "Faith & Politics". http://www.barackobama.com/issues/faith/I provide this link so that you can listen to one instance in which Senator Obama describes his faith conversion. I remain undecided in my presidential choice. I agree with some of the points that Obama makes in the speech (which is over 30 minutes long) and I disagree with some of the points that he makes. What I find disheartening in the [referenced] email is the accusation that Senator Obama's faith commitment was not only insincere but a boldfaced lie. The bible that I read teaches that only the Lord knows the hearts of man one such reference being the words of Solomon in I Kings 8:39 KJV Then hear thou in heaven thy dwelling place, and forgive, and do, and give to every man according to his ways, whose heart thou knowest; (for thou, [even] thou only, knowest the hearts of all the children of men;) My pastor is the son of Atheists. If I applied the logic used in the email below to my pastor, my pastor became a Christian as part of a powerplay, & was seeking to downplay his atheist background, not because he responded to the call of the Spirit of the Lord. If I apply the logic in that email to my friend Rob, whose entire family is Muslim and he was at one time too but he converted to Christianity in order to endure the rejection of his family and "downplay his involvement with Islam" so that he could become more active in the communities in which he serves???So far, I see absolutely no sense in this logic. As for the statement about swearing on the Kuran -- did that occur before or after Senator Obama's conversion? Some authentic Christians refuse to swear on bibles when giving court testimony because their interpretation of Matthew 5:36-37 (yes be yes). Would the same person dare to question and individual's faith in that case? I encourage everyone who received the email to prayerfully consider who he or she plans to vote for in the the upcoming election. I pray that each person will review the statements made by the candidates and the candidates' records rather than reading chain emails. May the Lord bless you in your decisions and may He continue to heal our land. The burden to seek change falls on us...2 Chronicles 7:14 NIV if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

Originator's response:

How dare you take the names of my friends and co-workers & send e-mails to them. If you had an opinion about an e-mail that I sent then you should reply to me & me only. In fact, I did not even send you this e-mail. Humble yourself before the Lord.

My response:

I am pleased to meet you though I am saddened that you misinterpreted my intentions. I accept the consequences of what I stated which is why I included my last name in the response. I did not realize that your email was not intended to promote open discussion of its subject. Please accept my apologies for any inconvenience or offense that I caused to your friends, co-workers and loved ones. Please feel free to forward this response to them if you believe it necessary. Since you do not know me, I am providing you with an outline of my thought process & reasons leading to my response. Anytime that I receive chain emails, I check the information that is contained in them. I use snopes.com and other such sources to help prevent the spread of rumors. Since the email that I received was about Senator Obama, I went to his site (i.e. his words). I was not seeking to persuade any person's vote. I simply believe in providing complete pictures.I am a political conservative and registered Republican. I lived in Los Angeles during the penultimate presidential election and had to endure the snobbery of Kerry supporters who looked at me as if I had three heads none of which was capable of an intelligent thought when I informed said Kerry supporters of my support of President Bush. When I received the Obama email that took much the same tone of the Kerry supporters who I encountered in Hollywood, I sensed the urgency to encourage investigation of the statements made in the email. I am humbled before the Lord. So much so that I don't attempt to do His job of passing judgement upon mankind. Questioning a person's faith commitment based upon the actions of his or her parents and a person's past actions frightens me to the "n"th degree because it borders on passing judgement (Matthew 7:2). King David committed adultery and murder, but he was called a man after God's own heart.(Psalm 51). Rahab, a prostitute who hid Joshua's spies in her brothel, became part of the lineage of Jesus. (Joshua 2, Joshua 6; Matthew 15; Hebrews 11:31). The Apostle Paul killed Christ followers in the name of God before coming to the Lord and then proceeding to open all of Asia to the Gospel and writing letters that impacted the world forever (Pauline epistles). These are just three examples of extremely imperfect people who God used as part of his perfect plan. I made mistakes in my life that led me to the Lord. My family has tons of problems in in its background. My parents were far from perfect people. Should my faith be questioned because of those actions? These are some of the reason why I needed a Savior. Similar to reasons why every single human on the face of this earth is in need of the Savior. Are we saying that Senator Obama's previous actions are too heinous for even the Lord to forgive? If so, then woe to us because we are approaching the attitude of the Pharisees (Matthew 23:27). I am one of the people who is called by his name to humble myself and open this land to God's healing. (2 Chronicles 7:14 NIV). I am praying my way through this life holding God's right hand (Isaiah 41:10&13) and no one, no thing can ever separate me from Him (Romans 8:29-39). Such are the promises that he extends to all people who believe. May you and your house be blessed in the new year.Sincerely and humbly in HIM,Amy T [full name withheld due to blog] "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us..." Eph 3:20 NIV

I'm left with a question now ...

What happens if the race comes down to Senator Obama and Governor Romney?

Imagine the chain emails then.

"Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night" Bette Davis as Margo Channing in ALL ABOUT EVE

12/30/07 Update
The (Presumed) Republicans made up.
Apology accepted and I see that you only mean well. I received this email & thought that it would be a good thing for people to read - not that all is probably true. My only fear is the statement that "they" will attack from within next time. Otherwise, I'm not really political & think everything is in a terrible mess right now. It doesn't matter who gets into office, they have a lot of work ahead of them. Hopefully, a person that believes in God will get into office and turn things around. God speed!

"You'll excuse me, gentlemen. Your business is politics, mine is running a saloon." Humphrey Bogart as Rick Blaine in CASABLANCA

A True Taste of the Season

2007-12-23T10:07:00.000-08:00

Christmas cookies, baklava, potato latkes, roast beast (if you are into Seuss) are the familiar aromas that we long for at this time of year. Whether you are celebrating Christmas or recently wrapped up your Hanakah celebration, there is no denying that this time of year has a taste all its own.
The "T" household faces some challenges this Season. Stresses well beyond dealing with shopping crowds loom on our horizon. The Lord reminded me today that my focus has been all off. He created me as an optimist and all I've been looking at are burnt edges around those Christmas cookies. He asked me to sit back with Him and have a taste of what He wants for me; what He wants for all of the people who He created.
What He has for us is sweeter than any baklava and more filling than any potato latke. He offers us all of His good gifts. He's the ultimate giver. He gives even when we don't realize that He is giving. He gives when we ask and when we don't. He gives when we deny.
Last night, I had dinner with some of my dearest friends. One of those friends frequently speaks of himself negatively. I get very concerned for him. He beats himself to a pulp because he is not good enough. I get all over him about it. I am certain that I do it because I hear so much of me in him! Again, the focus is all off. There I am trying to remove the speck from my brother's eye when I have a 3 foot plank sticking out of mine. Still God calls out to me and to him.
Then there's my friend who I haven't seen in months. She's always glad to see me and she very critical of herself and of the things that happen in her life. She doesn't know the Lord but she is surrounded by His followers. God keeps calling out to her.
Perhaps the three of us need to pull up to the real buffet and ask the Lord for a taste of Him. Maybe that will sharpen our focus.
Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who trust in him! Psalm 34:8 NLT

Sondancer Returns

2007-12-15T07:10:00.000-08:00

I feel so much better than I did yesterday. Yesterday, I was experiencing how much my body was feeling the stress of finals and other changes that are going on in my life and the lives of the people around me. Today, I recognize that I am so very blessed to have friends whose personalities are different than mine. Friends who bring out my inner surfer girl, the Sondancer. Sheez, I miss the assessibility of the beach.

I accepted a job working nights at a small shelter for women and their children. I'm nervous because the job will be different than anything else I've ever done. It is a counselor position so I have the opportunity for real world experience while in graduate school. That's part of what had me over the top nervous yesterday, even fearful. I was so backpeddling and second guessing my decision. Praise God that He kept speaking to me through my family and friends. Praise Him that His discernment filled me. I felt generalized fear in the form of a fear of failure that is what let me know that the fear was not a righteous fear. The Enemy was trying to keep me from doing the work God wants me to do.

The last time I had a fear like this was when I wanted to volunteer to work with the children's ministry at the church I attend. I applied the same questions to this situation that I did then. Now that I've finished my first semester of grad school, I know that I was applying what psychologists would call "Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy" and "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy" -- I call it discernment.

"What do you want to do, Amy?"
"I want to work with women who have been involved in domestic abuse situations and help them to discover ways to improve their sense of self-worth, to discover their gifts, talents & abilities, and to discover how to pull together their worth & abilities to improve the their lives & the lives of their children but I am scared."
"You are feeling afraid about something you want to do. What is a good fear?"
"Reverent fear of the Lord."
"Is that the fear that you are feeling?"
"No."
"So you are afraid of doing something good. Something that will change lives for the greater good?"
"Well, when you put it that way..."
"Who does not want life change for the greater good?"
"The Enemy of the Lord."
"So where is this fear coming from...?"

Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand...I am holding you by your right hand-I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, `Do not be afraid. I am here to help you.'
Isaiah 41: 10 & 13 NLT

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:19 NIV

The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace;
Romans 8:6 NIV

My 7 n 7

2007-12-14T04:45:00.000-08:00

7 Random things about me...

1) I love the number 7. Not from a superstitious standpoint but because it is a biblical symbol of perfection. 7 makes me think of the beauty of God and His creation.

2) When I use drinking straws in my bottled Coke or Iced Tea, if I don't drink the entire bottle in one sitting, I bend the straw so that it fits in the bottle and screw on the lid or is it a cap...whatever it is, I love the looks that I get when people notice that I do it.

3) I like Coke, not Pepsi. I like Diet Pepsi, not Diet Coke. I will drink 50-50 mix of Coke/Diet Coke or Pepsi/Diet Pepsi.

4) I made it through finals without biting my nails! In fact, my nails are currently the longest that they have ever been. They are getting a bit too long making typing more difficult. I refused to cut them before finals because I developed a strange superstition that my smarts were in my nails. Oh but the time is near to cut them because I want to take guitar lessons. All will be shorter, though they should be longer on my right hand for strumming, but the idea of one hand having longer nails than the other bothers me...throws me off balance.

5) Discovered when I lived in L.A. that I love Pilates. Improves the posture and balance. When I first used a reformer, I felt completely uncoordinated. As I learned more, I was amazed at the strength that I built.

6) In 6th grade, I played Samuel de Champlain, French explorer, for a class presentation. I recall wearing my Girl Scout beret backwards, speaking like Pepe Le Peu, and pulling a fish out of my shirt while saying "I zink I'd bean at zee sea a little too loong."

7) In 9th grade, I played Bob MacKenzie (or was I Doug?). It was for a class presentation about Roman and Greek Mythology. My best bud, Missie, and I drew Artemis/Diana. It was a contest to be voted "Patron God or Goddess of the Class". Missie played Artemis/Diana. At the time, the Bob & Doug MacKenzie characters from Second City TV (same guys that do the 12 days of Christmas ... and a beer in a tree) had a song out called "Take Off to the Great White North". We had Artemis/Diana appear to Bob/Doug MacKenzie as he was walking through the woods of the Great White North. She told him of how she placed the Hunter Orion in the sky because he failed her. Bob/Doug promised not to fail her and would get her elected Patron Goddess of the Class then proceeded to hand out Crescent Moon shaped campaign flyers proclaiming "Hunting for a Good Choice? Vote for Diana!" Since there is no Bob/Doug MacKenzie constellation, clearly you can guess that Diana became the Patron Goddess of the Class.

Thanks to M for tagging me. She will get me to post more regularly if it kills her.

Tagging Grain of Sand.

Update: Shoulding Has Subsided

2007-12-09T16:22:00.000-08:00

A quick update today because it is finals week, and I have two exams to study for tonight. I am feeling much better than last week.
Thoughts of Marv now only occur if I watch some sappy Hallmark or Lifetime Holiday Love Story/Romance.
Solution: STUDY, read, or watch Monk.
Got a call from the women's shelter to schedule an interview for the counselor position. I received the message after business hours, and left a voicemail expressing my interest. I plan to follow up tomorrow morning. They are seeking a meeting on Tuesday.
Health front for me is okay. My shoulders are hurting again because of all of the typing and downward head posture of reading. I got a massage, and I will return to my pilates shoulder strengthening regime.
As for my dad, challenges lie ahead. He is scheduled for bladder surgery the day after Christmas. After the surgery, we will find out if the tumors were benign or malignant. My sister plans to come to town to help including taking our stepmother to chemo the day after Dad's surgery.
Prayers for all of us are appreciated because we each face challenges ahead.
The good news is that the mercies of the Lord are new every morning.
The following scripture helped me 10 years ago during the most stressful time in my life. Time for it's return, though it never really left:

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Psalms 143:8 NIV

Shoulding Myself in the Foot

2007-12-02T07:51:00.000-08:00

My pastor asked me how I was doing today. I admitted that I was up and down. I gave nod to my inability to remain in and enjoy the present moment - how I have a tendency to long for the past - rather my romanticized version of it and how when something good starts happening in the present, I project it way too far into the future. I then proceeded to talk about all of the problems that the people whom I love dearly are now encountering. I failed to ask for specific prayer about my hurting heart to be healed from the break up with Marv, a man who I envisioned marrying. Had my pastor asked me last week or the week before, I might have owned up to the pain that I was feeling, but I didn't today because I feel like "I should be over it by now."

Key word in that sentence - should. I'm "should-ing" myself in the foot! Who gave measure of when I am supposed to be over it? Me. Which means that I am not following God's timeline, I'm following mine. He's a friend to the brokenhearted. (Psalm 34:18, Psalm 147: 3, Isaiah 61:1).

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit." Psalms 34:18 NLT
"He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds. " Psalms 147:3 NLT

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is upon me, because the LORD has appointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to announce that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed." Isaiah 61:1 NLT

I'm brokenhearted. Pastor is going to be receiving an email from me owning up to this fact. During service, I could only ask for help to live in the present. My pastor prayed that God would strengthen my ability to live in the present moment. That's probably why I feel awful right now. It's the answer to my pastor's prayer. I was not fully admitting that this time is a down time in my life. I'm hurting, and I need some love and care. I made a step in the right direction when yesterday, I engaged in some self care which is a miracle. I went out and accidently left my cell phone behind. My day turned into some shopping without interuption & free of keeping track of time. I purchased some desperately needed clothes (some of my current clothes actually have holes in them). After a disappointment later in the evenning, I gave myself a manicure. My new sweaters and my nails are fierce ; )

Thank you, Father, for bringing me into the present moment. I was avoiding it because I was feeling pain. Hiding in the past and projecting into the future are my defense mechanisms. Well, they are down now, and I am feeling pain. The beauty is that I am also feeling You Lord right here with me. Patting my head like your little girl and telling me that you have so much more in store for me.

My pastor noted that I have a tremendous capacity for empathy and that I need to use it appropriately. I need to be cautious not to take on the burdens of others that are not my load to carry. He helped me to realize that I need to take care of myself so that God can use me to help to take care of others.

I did today when a friend told me the she is in pain because a family member is facing a tremendous health challenge. Today was my turn to serve as a Prayer Partner (intercessor) at service. When my friend came forward for prayer, I felt her pain but did not take it on as my own. I am honored that I was the person to pray with her. Another person came forward this morning. I had prayed for this person previously though I did not remember him at that moment. I now remember that months ago, when I stood on the opposite side of the worship area, he came forward and asked for prayer for his son. Today, he and his son came forward to me. He greeted our pastor who was standing near me and then came to me with his son. I am honored that he returned to me for prayer and that I got to pray over both him and his son. Again, I felt this family's burden but did not assume it as my own. I brougtht them before you, Lord, to help them overcome their challenges. Maybe you were speaking to me at that moment. Guiding me while I was helping them. Wow, I realized that just now. Lord, You are so mysterious to me. I'm glad it's that way.

One last thought before I wrap up this blog entry. A friend of mine says that when disappointments happen in our lives it's "God's protection or provision." I thought about that statement as I drove home from service today and realized that it's not quite right. The correct view is "God's protection AND provision." He is protecting us from what we were willing to settle for and is providing us with the opportunity to accept His good and perfect gifts. (Matthew 7:9-11; James 1: 17-18).

I'll take the good and perfect gift -- now, if I could just unlock my fingers from this stone ...

"You parents-if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him."

Matthew 7: 9-11 NLT

"Whatever is good and perfect comes to us from God above, who created all heaven's lights. Unlike them, he never changes or casts shifting shadows. In his goodness he chose to make us his own children by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his choice possession." James 1: 17-18 NLT

E-Harmonica and the Bright Side of Life

2007-11-23T10:10:00.000-08:00

Been over 30 days since my previous post. Much has happened in that time. The most mysterious of which is what happened between my former boyfriend and me. I don't know what happened. We went to a wedding in Lancaster County from November 9 -10 and the last time I heard from him was when he dropped me off at home on the 10th. He didn't even say that he was going for a pack of cigarettes! Just nothing. Spent a week crying over him because I was head over heels for the guy. I tried to study for my Counseling Theories exam as I rode the tidalwave of emotion and I tried to write a research paper on Childhood Parental Grief. The bright side is that I wound up getting an A on my Counseling Theories exam -- in part because I kept applying some of the cognitive therapies to myself to help me surf. and I got an extension on my paper. So life is good.
Life got even better when I decided to wash my face and throw on a cute sweater on Saturday night and head to a turkey dinner sponsored by a singles group at Christ Church of Grove Farms. It is the same group that sponsored the fun Square Dance that I went to about a month ago. There I wound up chatting with a man who asked for my phone number. By Sunday at noon, I was invited to coffee and this past Wednesday we shared dinner and a movie. God is good. He knows that my heart was wounded and He reassured me that hope springs eternal.
E Harmony can work but for others it might feel like E-Harmonica because it leaves one feeling like "Nobody knows the troubles I've seen..." (can you hear the harmonica in the background?)
The best thing to keep in mind is that every day is a new day. One negative experience does not guarantee another bad experience. Keep looking to the Bright Side because that is God shining His light on your path!

Are Americans Afraid of Free Gifts?

2007-10-13T15:53:00.000-07:00

Today was ServeFest 2007. To celebrate the 16th Anniversary of Crossroads Church, members took to the streets of East Liberty/Pittsburgh, Washington County PA, McDonald PA and Weirton WV to offer free gifts...planned yet random acts of kindness.

I participated in the Free Car Wash at the McDonald Giant Eagle parking lot. The day was fascinating. We had 12 adults (6 men & 6 women) plus 5 kids (tween to teen) washing cars, car windows and headlights, and returning grocery carts for the customers. The kids fearlessly jumped in and were so ambitious that with my help managed to get too many carts back into the store.

One woman who was part of our group dove right into the spirit of things. She boldly approached strangers in a completely transparent and friendly way.
"Would you like me to wash your car for free. Really free." She'd say.
The next thing we knew, we had SUV's, Pick Ups and Cars all in a row. Ready to be washed while shoppers shopped.

I had trouble approaching strangers and asking if they would like us to clean their headlights, help with groceries or wash their cars for free. I wonder if the fear in my voice led to the "no's". I sincerely wanted to brighten that person's day, and my offers of help were true.
Perhaps I was afraid to offer something even for free. I have a fear of selling that dates back to dreaded days of Girl Scout Cookie Sales.
Maybe it's not that I fear selling but that I fear rejection. I fear the word "no".

I was not the only person to hear "no". Each one of us there did. In fact, instead of just "no", we heard "I will do it myself."

I believe that "I will do it myself." is an American mantra. Why are we Americans like this? Why is it hard to offer a free gift? Why is it hard to accept an absolutely free gift? Sure some people are very protective of their cars so the thought of having to redo windows or rewash the car might hold a person back, but an offer to wipe headlights clean? Come on. Headlights don't smear! A simple "no" can indicate that the lights are sufficiently clean but "I will do it myself." indicates that the owner realizes that the headlights need to cleaned. The owner cannot see clearly through the darkness.

How many times do we say to God, "I can do it myself."? Thing is we cannot clean our "Spiritual Headlights". Only God can do that. He's already done all of the work. Two thousand years ago. Jesus essentially said "I WILL do it myself." And offered his own life to pay the sin debt that we owed to Him. Truly God is the only Person who can say "I will do it myself" and then be able to say, "It is finished."

Yet, when God steps into our path and asks if we want Him to clean us, we don't say "No, I'm fine. I'm already clean." We say, "No thanks. I'll do it myself."
Really makes me wonder.

Not everyone said no today. And those who said yes weren't all "into God". My favorite moment was when two young boys drove up -- leaning so far back in their seats that they were practically driving horizontally.
"Hey, what's this?"
"Free car wash."
"Is it really free?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"We just want to show God's love."
"Is it really free?"
"Yes."
"It's free."
"Yes."
"Cool. Let's do it."

Perhaps some Americans can accept a free gift.

Tomorrow

2007-09-24T20:03:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow and Wednesday are research days for me. Next week, I am giving a seminar in my Human Development class on Child Soldiers. I'm finishing up Beasts of No Nation which has been such a tough read for me because it is so sad. Found some real stories that I will want to use including one about a man who escaped and moved to New York and in 2004 earned a Bachelors degree at Oberlin College.
I appreciate any really good leads that can be provided.

What Makes "A Good Day"

2007-09-23T18:54:00.000-07:00

All I can say is WOW! Today was an awesome day. I thank the Lord for each moment of it. I pray that many other people will have that feeling too.
I got to go see my man and help him to teach Sunday School. We then worshipped together. He cooked a great lunch, he told me that he loves me, and then we went for a ride on his Road King Harley. I haven' t been on a motorcycle for years so he took the back roads which are plentiful in Sugarcreek, OH. I saw the one room school where he attended first grade and got to meet one of his older brothers, plus his sister in law and niece and nephew.
Sunny day in Sugarcreek, hearing "I love you" for the first time and responding the same without fear for the first time... and the Steelers stay 3 and O.
Now, that's a good day : )

Seemingly Unattainable ZZZzzzz

2007-09-22T00:08:00.000-07:00

Not a long post. Just late night/early morning ramblings of a new grad student who can't sleep. Particularly challenging as to why I can't sleep because (1) I am tired and (2) I am only in my 3rd week of classes and have insufficient study to develop my own psychological profile. Okay, now I just lived out an old acting technique - in order to make yourself do something, tell yourself not to do it. When you want to cry on stage, tell yourself not too. When you want to laugh, tell yourself not to. When you want to sleep, tell yourself that you can't ...ZZZzzzz

E-Harmony: Behind the Commercials

2007-08-28T18:58:00.000-07:00

Here goes, Folks. By now, I am certain that many of you have seen and heard the eHarmony commercials using "Everlasting Love". Of course, the commercials make it seem easy. Purchase the computer service, enter you needs, wants & desire and POOF! ... Out pops the everlasting love of your dreams and/or prayers.
Just like making Pillsbury Fridge to Oven Cookies does not immediately perfect your family life, joining eHarmony does not necessarily immediately impact your dating/social/love life. It still can! That's what I recently found out. Back in June/July I decided to give eHarmony one more shot as part of my dating tool box. I figured, "I am tired of being single!" This time, I approached it differently. When I received a match, I thought to myself "Oh, a match. How nice." Instead of "ooo, could he be THE ONE?" I waited for men to request "communication" with me. Any man who requested, got at the very least, responses to his initial questions, except on one occasion where the questions were too questionable to answer! In any case, before I knew it, I had a slew of eHarmony pen pals. I met a couple of the guys and nothing really clicked. Either he ran or I wasn't that into him. I got a bit caught up in one and while I was caught up in him, I spoke with another man, Marv. Marv was very sweet and laid back. I liked his calls but really didn't think too much. Until Saturday August 18th when we met. That was when "WOW!" happened. We did not have a particularly romantic meeting set up. In fact, I wanted to keep it as casual as possible. We met for brunch at a local Eat N Park . After all , it is the "place for smiles"! From the moment that we started talking with each other, I knew that this guy was different. He had a quiet confidence that I've never seen in a man who I shared a meal with. Here was a guy who was not trying to impress me and impressed me to no end! We recently decided to make it exclusive. I am looking forward to getting to know this wonderful man whose heart belongs to God like mine does.
So, what do you find on eHarmony after closing or being closed by 300 matches? A match who is worth all of those 300 closed matches and then some. The difference with me this time was that my determination to trust God and say "yes to the possibilities" far outweighed my fear to run away from the unknown.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 NASB

From Inner Monologue to God-centered Dialogue

2007-06-08T15:45:00.000-07:00

I was reviewing my blog today deciding if another post was in order. I clicked the link to the Trinity Forum that I set up in my penultimate blog post. There I found an blog about our current "Age of Narcissim". Posted at that blog was a quote from Henri Nouwen' s book, Clowning In Rome.

“Thinking about God all the time is an unrealistic expectation that might cause mental imbalance . . . our prayer can only become unceasing communion when all our thoughts—beautiful or ugly, high or low, proud or shameful, sorrowful or joyful—can be thought in the presence of the One who dwells in us and surrounds us. By trying to do this, our unceasing thinking is converted into unceasing prayer, moving us from a self-centered monologue to a God-centered dialogue. To do this we want to try to convert our thoughts into a conversation. The main question, therefore, is not so much what we think, but to whom we present our thoughts, because to pray unceasingly means to think and live in the presence of Love.”

I am dumbfounded by these words. I struggled with minor depression since April; I had been battling with my own inner voice and the words that Father Nouwen uses in the above-referenced quote describe the transition that God brought me through to this wonderful place of healing. God brought the words of the Apostle Paul in I Thessalonians 5:16-22, particularly verse 17 - "pray without ceasing" to my mind at the time.

Yet I was not certain of how to "pray without ceasing". I needed to sleep though I was having trouble; I needed to work during the day and that was an even a bigger struggle. How could I pray without ceasing on top of everything else? I decided that when I started to have thoughts or feelings of sadness, instead of over analyzing them or trying to talk myself out of them (that would be an attempt to rationalize them away -- does NOT work at all!), I started asking God to help me through. I told Him flat out what I was feeling, good or bad, ugly or beautiful what I was experiencing at that moment. I asked Him to give me strength, to be with me in my dreams, to be with me as I completed mundane tasks at my job, to send me images that were in line with Him. Instead of trying to analyze the thoughts that I was having with my limited powers as a human, I started to have an inner dialogue with God. Pouring out my thoughts to God was the way of submitting them to proper examination. I needed to reach beyond my humanity to discover, to receive the answer(s).

I love that I found the words to describe the process that I experienced in applying scripture to my life. To think that they came from a Catholic priest in the 1970's. Boggles my mind and touches my spirit.

I am all the more joyful to know that the struggle that I had was part of the answer to a prayer request. I requested in church and from my friends, that each pray for me to have open eyes and ears to God's leading in my career path. I asked that God would guide me to a new career since I could sense that PT and OT were not quite the right fits for me. In finding the outwardly directed inner dialogue with God, He led me to choose a profession that will reach out to others. I pray that I will be able to help other people discover ways to pay it forward.

I Thessalonians 5:16-22
Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit; do not despise prophetic utterances. But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil.

Flail or Float

2007-05-27T11:01:00.000-07:00

Using some color today for the fun of it. I enjoyed my time of worship at Crossroads UMC today. During praise and worship, the worship leader humbly admitted to have moments when he feels very close to God and moments when he feels very far away. I admire that vulnerability. Too many times Believers fall into the thought trap of "I need to have it all together to be in a Good Christian."
First of all, I believe that each one of us needs to get over the idea of being a "Good Christian". Yes, Paul refers to this life as a race but it is not a race against each other. "Good Christian" sounds to me like someone is trying to receive God's approval or earn his way into God's good graces. It sounds like "Christianese" for "good person."
Second, I believe that we need to flat out focus on God. Live for an "Audience of One". Os Guinness discusses this in his book THE CALL (I forget who he was quoting with this reference). The point being that by focusing on God, your actions will flow in conjunction with His nature.
What are ways that we can focus on God vs. focusing on our service to Him?
When I have that feeling of being far from God - which we will encounter due to our sinful nature - my prayer is that I will remember that I am the one who moved, not Him. It's one of those times when you carve out time to be quiet before Him. The trap that I've fallen into is behaving like a drowning woman. I flail in my own sea of fear and regret grasping at anything - God, my family, my friends - and crying "Help, help" instead of realizing that I can float above it all by laying back and allowing the Holy Spirit to do his job.
By floating, God will speak to me through His Word, Through His people, Through whatever means He chooses.
Float and focus on Him.

Chocolate Covered Hugs

2007-05-21T10:24:00.000-07:00

Sunday, May 20th was the 2nd anniversary celebration of Ecclesia Hollywood: The Gathering Field. I was so blessed to be there. I was there when the church had its first gathering in May 2005 at the VFW in Hollywood.
Through this church, I made wonderful friends. I spent the day catching up with them and the visit felt oh so too short. Hard to wrap my mind around all the changes that happened in the 9 months since I returned to Pittsburgh from L.A. There are babies crawling around in that church who were under construction when I left. So many new people have come the church too. The church itself is in its 6th location. Proof that a church is not about a building.
Ecclesia is very solid in its teaching and interpretation of the Bible. I pray that many people in Hollywood and the surrounding community find a home with this Gathering of Believers. They helped me to create a home in L.A., a city that has a reputation of being difficult to find community in. Ecclesia definitely proves that reputation to be a myth.
Following the worship celebration, we shared an awesomely delicious rich chocolate fudge cake from Sweet Lady Jane bakery. Old friends and new friends gathered together to break bread.
As I walked with a group to grab lunch at Solar de Cahuenga, I realized that I neglected to greet one of my favorite people, D. Paul. I headed back and tapped him on the shoulder to which I received a hu-u-u-ge hug. He grabbed both of my shoulders, looked me square in the eye and said, "We miss you here! Are you back?" (Imagine a very powerful History Channel voice and you've got D Paul's voice -- he's done H-Channel v/o work). I replied that my appearance was a visit, but that I equally missed my Community. He squared it up with another bear hug. Then off I went to lunch with the bunch.
As Sarah and I walked, I glanced at my shoulder and said out loud that somehow I got chocolate icing on my shirt sleeve. Sarah looked over and noted that icing was on my other shoulder too.

"Someone must have hugged you with chocolate on their hands!"
"D Paul, " I said aloud. We laughed and continued onward. When we arrived at the cafe, I looked at Sarah and noticed chocolate on her blouse. She looked at me, "I hugged D Paul too!" We both got such a laugh.

Chocolate covered hugs.
Now that I think of it, D Paul left a mark of richness & sweetness on me (actually three -- I found more icing when I went to wash the shirt!). I was literally marked after being in his presence. In a much deeper sense, that's what happens to us after we are in the presence of Jesus. We are marked by the richness of the Holy Spirit. Praise God that HIS marking does not wash away with Dawn dishwashing liquid but is forever sealed on our souls.
I pray that each person who I pass, who I meet, who I touch winds up receiving a "Chocolate Covered Holy Spirit Hug". May each person who meets someone who worships at Ecclesia Hollywood: The Gathering Field come away knowing that he/she has been in the presence of Christ.

And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal , the promised Holy Spirit who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession -- to the praise of his glory. Ephesians 1:13-14 NIV

2 Weeks, 2 First Dates

2007-05-18T23:32:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling like Carrie Bradshaw blogging on this subject. In the past 2 weeks, I've had 2 first dates. Dating at 40 is different than dating in my 20's and 30's. Strangely enough, I'm finding it easier. Most likely because I know myself better. I've found the courage to be myself instead of trying to impress or please other people. I still fight those demons but not as frequently as I used to.
First Date #1 came out of the blue. I joined my high school alumni web site to update my contact information. No intention of meeting anybody new. I was contacted by a fellow graduate who is older than me and who I did not know in high school. I was very impressed by his initiative. We met for drinks which led to a dinner. He seemed very reserved. I noted that he rarely smiled or laughed but he spoke so kindly & lovingly of his mother and spoke about his interests rather than bragging about his job and so forth; I figured that he was enjoying himself but was nervous. Through those nerves, he still managed to listen to the desires I expressed. "I'm hungry, " I said. We went to dinner. "I'm stuffed," I said. We did not order dessert. He called again and our conversation led me to believe that yes, a second date was well within order. The second date did happen when we took in a Pittsburgh Pirates game together. Had a blast. Maybe a third date?
By contrast, First Date #2 was last night with a man who I met months ago via a dating web site. The man impressed me with his kindness via email and in the telephone conversations that we had. I thought that the man I would meet in person would be mature and confident. Sadly, while he was older than me, he allowed his nervousness to overcome himself. He steamrolled over the small requests that I made. Even insisting on dessert when I stated to him, "A cup of tea would make me happy." I felt as though he wasn't actively listening to me. I also took notice of how he treated the waiter; more steamrolling. I wound up asking myself, if he insists on something small like dessert when I've declined, what will happen on bigger issues? I decided not to find out. That combined with the geographic distance between us led me to decide: No second date with him on the horizon.

My advice to ladies out there, politely state your need or desire. "I'm cold." or "I'm hungry." Gives the man a problem to solve and when he solves that problem, say "Thank you. You made me happy." and follow up with a huge smile. Good guys out there just want to know what would make a woman happy. Telling them what makes us happy makes life so much easier.
My advice to guys out there, listen to your date. If she tells you, "A cup of tea would make me happy," buy her a cup of tea and watch the results.

After all, isn't everyone searching for a little honesty?

Made in HIS Image

2007-03-25T19:37:00.000-07:00

We are studying the Book of Jonah in the weekly message series at the church I serve. Today, the pastor said that all people are created in the image of God...Every person was purposely placed here on Earth.
Genesis 1: 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (NIV)
God created beautiful human beings. Free of sickness and disease. Free to walk directly with Him. Free. They had EVERYTHING. Then they fell for a lie. God had given them the freedom to Love HIM and obey HIM willingly. They chose not to and in entered all the horrible things that exist today. Disease, famine, poverty, even something as everyday as B.O.
When I think of the next part, I'm reminded of an acting teacher that I had in L.A., Arthur Mendoza (http://www.actorscircle.net/). We butted heads. Oh boy. Of course the stage was set, in walks the petite, perky born again Christian blonde to the rough, foul mouthed, I love to see what's hiding under rocks loving, homosexual acting teacher's school. What came out -- mutual respect. Arthur is an excellent instructor. He pulls no punches. No "that was very nice" -- Arthur forces you to go to lengths you would never expect. I knew the moment I watched his Tech II class as I sat in Tech I that I would be the girl to play the junky hooker when I reached improv in Tech II. Yep, that's what happened. There I was working with a great actress Vee (I'll call her), wearing clothes that were too small and too tight and having my hair pulled and there was Vee in a suit and all prim and proper. We made a great scene. I really started thinking about the character that Vee and I created and I played. Tracey. Yes, we referred to her as Tracey the hooker junky but thing is I created a life story of what I thought led her to where she was and why she did what she did. I came to realize that there are people out there in the world for whom my fictious story IS reality, not an acting exercise. Each one of those real persons are made in the image of God plus Arthur, Vee, me - we're made in the image of God. So many seemingly different people, but all created in the image of God.
God's image gets covered over with the muck and filth of sin. As humans driven by human eyes, we run away from or push away that which is displeasing to our eyes. In some cases, it might be a drug habit that is hiding the beautiful image of God. In others, it might be a genetic disease. In any case, we need Jesus living within us so that we can see through all that muck and filth -- first through the muck and filth that covers our own eyes. Then we can have the courage to perhaps be used by God to chizel away the rocky, muck and filth of sin that's covering someone else and share life with that person. Start demonstrating God's love to him or her and proceed to share the awesomely Good News that the sin debt is paid in full and he or she can spend eternity with God.
So thanks Arthur Mendoza for teaching me to look under rocks. After all, look what was found when the stone was rolled away.

Answer To The Age Olde Question

2007-03-19T19:44:00.000-07:00

(reprinted from my myspace.com blog)

The Answer to the Age Olde Question...
The other day, I received one of those email surveys from a friend ... you know what I mean the surveys that ask tons of questions so that you can share your favorite restaurant, what time you started the survey, etc. Well, this survey included ...
"The chicken or the egg?"
I sat. I pondered. I realized that all these years, I never went to the best source of all for the answer to which came first. I just kept stating an opinion. So I checked the... No, No, No, not the Internet...I checked the Bible. And there it was. The ANSWER in Genesis 1:20-23
"And God said,'Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the expanse of the sky.' So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living and moving thing with which the water teems, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. God blessed them and said, 'Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth.' And there was evening, and there was morning--the fifth day."
Chickens don't fly, but they are winged creatures. The scriptures continue on to say birds increase on earth. Covers the not flying part -- Sounds like a chicken to me, and the command to be fruitful and mulitply...eggs.
So there is was in plain sight all these years. The ANSWER.
Next question -- does the light in the refrigerator really turn off when I close the door? ... "Refreshed, Refreshing, Refuge" ... Not finding "refrigerator" in my concordance. But cold drinks take refuge in my fridge and they are refreshing.
Hmmmmmmmmm

THANK YOU, LORD: A HEALING

2007-01-19T19:27:00.000-08:00

I am pleased beyond belief to report that my stepmom, Nancy, received the results of her latest PET Scan on 1/18/07. She is CANCER FREE! We are grateful for this gift from God. So many people have been praying for her. I am grateful for the prayers and that she is getting stronger each day. She told me that the report that she received was completely unexpected. She did not think that after being diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer in her liver and kidneys that 8 months later one of the many PET Scans that she had undergone would show no sign of cancer. She still has to take medication but not the chemo treatments that she had before. We expect that she will be feeling more like herself in about a month. As some of you may know, learning that cancer had returned to my stepmother is part of the reason that I returned to PA. I am so very glad to hear the good report directly from Nancy and in a face to face conversation.
Please continue to hold Nancy up in prayer. THANK YOU. For your prayers and thank you, Lord, for this good report & the healing that you brought.

Wishes for 2007

2007-01-01T14:32:00.000-08:00

(reprinted from my myspace blog)
2007 has arrived. I read my morning paper this afternoon (afterall, I have the day off). One of the light articles that I read was the Fashion Editor's Style Wishes for 2007. There amongst the cries for good make up and less matchy-matchy was a wish that Men would be more gentlemanly. http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07001/749962-314.stm
"Oh yes, I wish the same, " I thought to myself as I read the paragraph. Then I realized that the condition of chivalry is not entirely the fault of men. Women have essentlally placed a DNR order on chivarly. Many a time I've witnessed women deny a chivalrous act from men and saw the man standing there awkwardly not knowing what to do next. No one, male or female, wants to feel embarassed or useless. Women need to realize that an offer of a seat or a door held open is not a statement from a man that a woman is helpless but is a statement that a woman is valued and respected. Accepting such an offer from a man is tells him that he is valued and respected. The exchange is very even. Everyone wins which is something that everyone loves to do!
One the earliest examples of this phenom that I experienced came when I was 15 and on a date with one of my first boyfriends. The two of us arrived at our dinner destination, and I got out of the car. My boyfriend who was already enroute to my car door ran over to me and said, "Get back in the car." I asked why but complied with his request. He said, "Don't you get out of the car unless I open the door for you." Being the strongwilled smart-mouth that I am, I replied, "I'll remember that if we are in an accident and the car starts burning up." The next boyfriend came when I was 16 and the boyfriend was 15-- so I drove to the movies and opened my own car door. We walked to the theatre and he walked through the door ahead of me. As the glass door to the theatre smacked me in the face, I was reminded of my previous boyfriend and wondered why we broke up.
I learned to smile and say thank you when seats are offered and doors are opened for me. And the funny thing is that more seats are offered now and more doors are held open. Go figure!
...Oh and I too wish that Pittsburghers would be more adventuresome in their daily dress but I still love you so even if you are matchy-matchy.

Time to Ring in the New Year

2006-12-30T05:59:00.000-08:00

First -- Updates since my previous posting
* I sold both of my textbooks on half.com. Thank you for your prayers. I now have money toward the textbooks for next semester.
* I received a wonderful surprise Christmas gift from a pair of my cousins. They made me cry with their generosity. That gift will help me again with my educational efforts.
* The Christmas Eve service related worship dramas went great. And when I was talking with our worship arts director, he said that he wants to expand the creative team (the group of people who pray, design and coordinate the worship services) and he wants me to be a part of it. I am so excited to be back on that team. I was on it about 9 or 10 years ago when I was the drama director for the church.
* I faced disappointment on Christmas Eve itself as far as my personal life. Praise God for my wonderful friends and family who covered me in prayer and gave me wise advice. I am feeling much better.

Now, Ringing in the New Year! So many prospects lay ahead. There will be an opportunity to work full time at one of the PT clinics near where I am living. Working full time in one place will give me a set schedule that means I can return to working off hours at Starbucks and not try to cram everything in on the weekends. Might actually work out to be higher earnings for me. Plus, I will be able to pick up more classes and take some time for fun. Fun as defined by American Heritage: "1. A source of enjoyment, amusement, or pleasure. 2. Enjoyment; amusement: have fun at the beach. 3. Playful, often noisy, activity." So that would include Pilates (source of pleasure), Guitar (definitely noisy), volunteer work at the Children's Rehab Institute (again - probably noisy and will include playful activity). I can't wait to see how this all turns out. God is teaching me how to be kinder to myself. My short work outs through this week are already making a difference. Last night, I got call that from yet another dear friend in L.A. She is the person who God used the most in LA to extend kindest to me and demonstrate true generosity & gracious living to me. She is also the creator of what I refer to as my magic necklace, my favorite piece of jewelry.
Though my New Years Eve celebration won't take the shape that I thought it would, it will be a shape that I love. A shape created uniquely created by Our Heavenly Father. All praise to Him.

More Random Thoughts

2006-12-23T09:22:00.000-08:00

For my friends in Pittsburgh, there's the olde...
Why do we drive on the Parkway and park in the driveway?

For my friends in L.A.,
Why do we feel trapped on the FREEway?

I got an A in my General Biology class! My text book and lab manual are now for sale on half.com and through a craigslist.org posting. Pray that I sell them. I really don't need them any more. My next class is Anatomy and Physiology. I am hoping that I can get my textbook and lab manual through half.com because that will save me around $40 or so. Since I can only take one class per week, I am self paying for my education without the assistance of student loans (I need minimum of 6 credits to qualify for student aid). Tonight is the first of 3 performances of the Christmas Eve drama at my church. It is a three-four minute segment in which characters reveal their inner longings for a reason to hope. I am excited because I wrote and edited my part. It's the first time I ever did something like this and I am so proud. All of this came about because my drama director needed help changing what she had already written for me. She said that she had writers block so I told her to email her work to me. I had so much fun being part of a team. I am going to make certain that she knows I am available to help her write dramas any time.

In conclusion, here is what I would look like as an elf:
http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=e1057a90e9669617d8c4d7eG06122308

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

A MIRACLE ON MAIN ST

2006-12-10T15:24:00.000-08:00

It's all complete! The Children's Christmas Musical was a huge success, and I forgot my camera! I will seek out some photos to post. The children were very enthusiastic. A couple chorus members started to get tired in the 2nd show but, hey, they hung in there. Every child that I spoke to said that he or she had fun and that's great to hear. Parents, aunts , uncles and next door neighbors were moved. Funds were raised for Chuck Colson's Angel Tree Program.
Time for me to dive into the Biology book to prep for my final exam (non-cummulative) which is this Saturday. Will be a short Saturday since all I will do is take my final.
We played a great short film at church this morning that I think was called "Friends of Enemies: Rahel's Story" It told the story of a Jewish Israeli woman who found Yeshua (Jesus Christ) and now goes out at night gathering Jews and Arabs to gather at her home for a small group bible study. Not all who attend have come to a saving faith relationship with Christ but all persons agree that Rahel loves them without condition. They keep returning and exploring this book that led Rahel to such a peace filled life. Shalom -- all good blessings -- to my fellow Bloggers.

Okay, Okay I'm posting!

2006-12-07T18:23:00.000-08:00

Boy, I am delinquent ... and I don't post much either!
Latest -- it snowed in the Burgh today. I drove through my first white out in 3 years and lived to tell. Not lots of accumulation but very cold...try 10 degrees and that does not include the wind chill. However, I worked at a very great office today (physical therapy) and the therapist helped me to scrape my car. He helped to confirm that there are wonderful, considerate men out there. He's married but he wasn't always!
Speaking of such...yes, going to the romance department. I've calmed down. I still see my date/friend at church and don't hear from him during the week. However, I have a new take on the situation. "Day by Day"...develop a friendship. Hello...I was at the same service as him last week, sat down before he came in, and he chose to sit next to me. It's nice to have someone sit next to you! I've also noticed that he crosses rooms to greet me. Another nice thing... having someone cross a room to greet you or talk to you.
Though I swore off singles books, I'm reading "The Surrendered Single" (a singles book by a woman and for women). It is not a "Christian" book (I have no idea how a book could realize its sin and commit to Jesus as its Lord and Savior -- I digress). The author, Laura Doyle, makes some great points that in many cases are very consistent with my Faith. She talks about having faith, trusting and releasing control.
In recent weeks, God has revealed to me that I am not a recovering perfectionist but a recovering control freak. I love HIM so for loving me even though I try to take HIS job away from HIM.
The image that He gave me to follow was actually inspired by a scene from "Parenthood" & the Thunderbolt. The scene where Steve Martin is at his kids' production of Snow White and his little boy is headbutting everyone and knocking down the set...the picture starts moving like a roller coaster and the soundtrack has the old wooden coaster chain clanking sound. God reminded me that when I ride my favorite rollercoaster in the entire world, "The Thunderbolt" - when we go down that really steep hill, I throw my arms in the air and scream for joy. So now, when I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster - yep, just throw 'em in the air, then laugh and scream!
I'll take some pictures at the Christmas Musical this Sunday...we had a casting crisis today...the adult (yes, the one "grown up" in the show) neglected to tell us that he cannot be at the final dress rehearsal and he's been at only 3 of our 10 rehearsals. He's been replaced by Steve -- yes, the man I had that date with. Steve volunteered to read lines when the original actor was out and wound up with the part. We are allowing him to carry the script, but the same Voice that tells me to trust the development of my relationship with Steve (and anyone else for that matter) tells me that the production will be exactly the way it's supposed to be. Clank, clank, clank, clank --- Woowhooooooooooooooooo! Clank, clank, clank, clank--- Woowhooooooooooo!

What a difference a day makes...

2006-11-13T15:06:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you post and then it all works out. Thanks for putting up with the whining regarding my personal life. All is well on that front now because I am not focusing on that! I am living life and enjoying each moment provided to me instead of analyzing that moment to death. Going with the flowing is difficult for us organizational types. I keep trying to lead my own life when my job is FOLLOW God's leading.
Thank you for your prayers for my step-aunt, Joanie. She passed away on Saturday. Please continue to hold her family (Husband and 3 children - early 20's and age 16) up in prayer. I know that they truly appreciate it.
My yesterday was spent helping to direct the rehearsal for Cast 2 of the children's musical. The director informed me that they were to be off book last week but were still reading from scripts. Sooo, we rehearsed one scene with script in hand then repeated it w/o the script in hand. Then came time to add in the chorus and run the show. That point, I took all scripts away. Those children knew their lines better than they thought! In one case, a boy who had totally been reading from the script knew all of his lines (word perfect) except for one which he got with a little prompting. When I praised him, he just focused on one missed line. Told him to concentrate on the fact that he got all of the other ones and that the rest will come with practice. I was so proud of all of the children. The cast I was working with is the younger cast with the oldest cast member being 12/13 ish. The majority of the children are 9ish. Keep them in prayer because this project means so much to them.
The little ones singing are a hoot since they forget to sing and wind up watching the action on stage.
That's that for now. Love to you and prayers for blessings.

Had this thing called a date a couple weeks back

2006-11-08T19:02:00.000-08:00

Yep, had a date couple weeks back. No second date but I see the guy at church each week and sit with him. Debated whether to blog on this subject and decided to go ahead. Especially since I caught myself getting very goofy and figured that my fellow bloggers would help keep me on the straight path. Met Steve at the church I serve when I was helping to cast the Children's Christmas Musical. His daughter was auditioning and he is helping to build the sets and props. I was talking with a friend who I had not seen since my return to the Burgh. He was telling me about his work with the satellite campus of the church and pointed over my shoulder saying something about "Steve the single dad helping" mind you my friend was not playing matchmaker...nar would such a thought cross his mind. I turned around to see who my friend was pointing to and I said to myself "Well Helllllloooooo Steve the single dad. I am going to go introduce myself to you." I did. That was a Tuesday night. Steve approached me at the satellite service that following Sunday...yes, I went there because I knew he would be there, and promptly asked me out. He called the next day and we went out for dinner (started as Italian in Sewickley then changed to Lebanonese on the South Side of Pittsburgh) that Saturday. Sat together the next day in church. No call during the week. Sat together the following Sunday and I met his parents. That's all that's up. Very interesting to be developing a friendship with someone who is nearly 7 years older than me and has an 11 year old daughter to care for. (full custody). What's more is I am discovering that my old patterns of dysfunctional relationship behavior (codependency) are still close to the surface. Please pray for me in this matter. I don't want to return to my jellyfish ways. I want to continue to trust God. The way that He taught me to trust Him when I was in LA and had no other choice but to trust! I'm getting soft out here living with the parents.
by the way, parents doing well themselves but my step aunt (my step mother's sister) is in the end stages of ovarian cancer due to the tamoxiphen -spelling? that she took after fighting breast cancer. Please keep the family in prayer.
Please also pray that I find a good bible study. I miss the exegetic teaching at Ecclesia. Very topical at my current church. Hate to leave the current church because I have opportunities to serve in drama ministry and I still sense God's presence there. He has definitely spoken to me through the messages the pastor gives there.
Love to my blogger buddies : )

Trader Joes in Pittsburgh!

2006-10-27T14:51:00.000-07:00

I am so very happy! We have Trader Joes in Pittsburgh now! Today was the grand opening. The lines were long, long, long! No wine at this TJ's due to City Ordinances/State Laws. But I got my pesto pizza and huge CA almonds!
I am one happy lady : )

Autumn Has Arrived

2006-09-26T07:41:00.000-07:00

Since the leaves on the trees in PA are changing, I decided to blog in a coordinating color today. The trees outside of my window look so pretty. We're not at peak yet but so beautiful to see the change of seasons.
Life is very good in Western PA. Did a mononlogue as part of my church's worship service over the weekend which meant being at 4 of our services and re-connecting with more of my Crossroads Church family. It felt good to be serving again.
Job front is going well. I survived my first full week of being on my own as an aide - that is, not sharing the duties with the PTA. I set the goal at not losing or further injuring any patients ; ) and the mission was accomplished!
I still work weekends at Starbucks and that is working out too. I am so blessed in my employment. Great people to work with at both jobs. I really enjoy the sense of purpose that I gain at the PT's offices and sense of hospitality/fun that I have at Starbucks.

I got an A on my Biology test! But did not do so well on the lab quiz which doesn't matter because it is like 1/16th of my grade, then again, I might have done fine on the lab quiz. The prof gives us 2 bonus points per quiz so maybe I only missed 2 questions! In any case, I put my studying efforts into the Unit Test which makes up a much higher percentage of my grade. 75% of my grade is based on lecture and 25% on lab. I've got an A in lecture so far. I'm understanding the concepts so far which is the important part. Please pray that I pick up some speed in lab though because my partner and I work very slowly in lab and get stuck being one of the last teams in lab. Then again, if we are understanding what we are doing, then so what if we are one of the last teams to finish.

As far as the romance front - there is none. The good news is though that I am praying my way through it and listening to God's leadings. He revealed to me that concerning myself over whether a man likes me is not the proper approach -- asking "Does he like me?" is the wrong question. The right questions to ask include (in no particular order) "How do I feel about him?", "What do I like about him?", "What do we have in common?" This basic approach of "keeping my eyes on my own paper" is really working.

God is directing me through each aspect of my life, and I am lovin' it. Sometimes I feel like I'm lovin' it and other times, I'm lovin' it even when I don't feel like I'm lovin' it. I pray that anyone who reads this blog will find a sense of joy.

Posting for the sake of posting

2006-09-07T09:35:00.000-07:00

I am in a purple swirly mood so thus the color change and the italics. I really don't have anything to blog about presently. I realized its been awhile since my last entry so I figured that I should type something. I will start working with the physical therapist on Tuesday the 12th. First, I have an orientation meeting on Monday the 11th. I was hoping to have lunch with friends that day but seems that my meeting might run longer than I expected.
I am going to try working at Starbucks on weekends and even for the next three weeks working both jobs. I am working on a spending plan/budget so that I can get my bills paid off and drop the Starbucks job.
That's it for now.
Much love!!!

Got the Physical Therapy Job

2006-08-24T15:11:00.000-07:00

True to form, God provided me with the physical therapy aide job and at $0.50/hr more than I expected. I say true to form because just 2 days ago, I interviewed for a job as a CSR for an auto insurance company. And a week ago, I interviewed for a job with a Risk Management Services company. I was basically offered the job as the CSR and was debating b/w the CSR and PT Aide jobs. Of the three jobs, the RMS would pay the best but was not appealing to me. The CSR would pay better than the PT Aide and would allow me to paydown my debt faster plus have regular schedule while going to school. The PT Aide job would expose me to working with therapists and PT Assistants. Well, on Wednesday, I received a call from the insurance temp agency that the CSR job order was withdrawn and then today, I got the official offer of the PT Aide/tech position. Very interesting how I asked God what would be the choice that would honor Him and He gave an EXTREMELY clear response.
Praying that anyone who reads this blog entry will be open to God's clear leadings in his/her own life. Much love!

I love when God proves that I can when I think I can't

2006-08-21T19:58:00.000-07:00

I am blessed beyond measure. I was supposed to have the day off from Starbucks today but got called in due to some unforseen turn of events at the store. I said yes because picking up this shift spared me from working from 6:00 am to 11:00 am on Friday. In fact, I have Friday off. I was grateful for the additional work. I arrived and learned that I would be working ... the expresso bar -- ahhhhh -- me on bar -- not register. I can't --- "oh yes you can, Amy Sue" - God calls me by my full name. "I am right here with you." "Okay, God, then you make the drinks" -- Uh, I think He did because somehow, I made it through the biggest rush of the evening which happened about 10 minutes before my shift was to end - about 15 people within about 6 minutes came in. Maybe more people, maybe more time - or maybe it was less people and more time -- whatever it was, I remembered seeing a line of people and a line of cups and I was it to make those drinks. The shift supervisor started the drinks for me. The two of us (actually the three including God) made it through. I made it through without hyperventilating! I just kept breatheing. Breath. What a wonderful thing. Last week, the Holy Spirit pointed out something to me about breath. The Eastern religions focus so heavily on breath that I ignored breath because I did not want to get caught up in new age lies. Well, a lie comes from twisting the truth. Holy Spirit revealed to me that the truth is we humans are different from any other creature, any other mammal that God made because He breathed His spirit into us. So now when I take in that deep breath - I know that God is breatheing His spirit into me, and I know that He will give me what He knows I need for that very moment in time. Breathe on me breath of God. May any person who reads this post be touched by the breath of God.

Cha-cha-changes

2006-08-19T13:36:00.000-07:00

Another week gone by. This week has been quite a week. I'm actually feeling more comfortable. Starbucks - I'm finding my grove. Potential job with the PT office - got a message on Friday that they want to offer me the job and are awaiting the go ahead from their HR dept. Interviewed for a job with a Risk Management Agency - not particularly interested in the job since its not related to PT or OT but interview went well and whatever God wants for me and where He wants me is beyond fine with me.
My stepmother had a rough week with her chemo treatments. Her white blood cell count was low and then her blood pressure dropped too. She's up and around today though still very tired. She was really hurting on Wednesday when she had her treatment. I've never seen her move so slowly. She continues onward as best she can. We are actually getting more real with each other now. I value her.
Had to give sad news to a man who I went out on a few dates with and have been friends with for years now. When I moved to L.A., he figured that he'd never see me again and really didn't keep in touch much. I heard more from other friends than I did from him. When I saw him last Saturday, it seemed as though he wanted to pick things up again like nothing had happened in 3 years. I received a call from him this past Thursday asking me out. I told him that I did not believe that we should change the level of our relationship. Bottomline is that I sensed a pattern between the two of us that was very similar to the pattern between my mother and father. It is not a healthy pattern. Upon the counsel of several trusted people - from both sexes and both married and single, I stopped the pattern. Now, I've been dealing with stopping the tape in my head that says "You blew it."
Now is a time of change in my life, I'm returning to school and changing careers. I'm taking the opportunity to have the courage to say "yes" to healthy changes and "good-bye" to poor behavior choices.
I pray that anyone who reads this blog will have the courage to do the same. The sooner, the better.
All praise to Him who gives us life.

Enjoying Sunny Days in Pittsburgh Burbs

2006-08-11T16:22:00.000-07:00

As strange as it may seem, there are, in fact, sunny days in Pittsburgh! For quite a few days in a row, I've seen blue skies with fluffy white clouds.
My start at Starbucks was very rough. I felt extremely stupid for not knowing how to make drinks and for messing up even the simplest of orders. Then I felt foolish for feeling stupid because I knew I was learning! Then came the pain, my hands and feet were killing me. My grip strength was gone after working a 6 hour shift. I awakened with pain and numbness in the middle of the night. The return of carpal tunnel! No! Away! I tried to quit Starbucks but the substitute manager (my real manager was on vacation) would not accept my resignation. When my real manager returned, we had a true heart to heart. I still dreaded my next shift - the first morning rush. The night before I went, the Holy Spirit asked me "Where's your attitude of gratitude?" I then reviewed all that God had given me in this Starbucks job...great co-workers, good benefits, a paycheck where I had none, free parking, a short drive during times of high gas prices and so much more. I went in to work that morning with a restored attitude of gratitude and had the busiest and most productive shift since I started training and working!
I still await the results of my interview to be a PT aide for a local rehab service group. I am truly considering working a shift or two rather than quitting SBUX if the new full time job comes through.
I'm registered for biology class and will start two Saturdays from now. Scanned the first lab - it's about pillbugs. Including calculating their speed. I really hope that we skip the pillbug lab. Then again, I didn't think I'd ever remember how to make a tall Caffe Mocha without asking questions but I did it yesterday.
So I'd say I am very blessed by sunny days in Pittsburgh and those sunny days will continue even if it's overcast and rainy.

Entering The World of Half Caf/Half Decaf Nonfat No Whip & BEYOND

2006-07-22T10:48:00.000-07:00

As of Tuesday, I became a Part-Time Barista at Starbucks. Most people's response has been "Good thing you like coffee." Confession...I don't drink much coffee. I thoroughly enjoy a Vente Unsweetened Passion Iced Tea, and I absolutely love the smell of coffee because it reminds me of my mom. I am also enjoying tasting all the different coffees that Starbucks sells. Much safer for me than wine or beer tasting. Though Starbucks pays only minimum wage plus $2 tips, it offers benefits (medical, dental, vision, stock opinions) to part-time partners who maintain 20 working hours per week/per quarter. Needed a job fast and that's what I got. I'm still sending out the resumes and other activities to find either a Full Time job or another part time job. I feel a similar situation to what I was doing in L.A. This time the survival job is to support higher education. If anyone knows of a good web site or other resource for "Returning Adult Students", send it on to me. I've found one scholarship through University Women that is specifically for women in my boat! So cool.
On a culture note...I've noticed that cell phone use in the Northern Suburbs of Pittsburgh is much less than that in The Valley, etc. I've seen a few drivers on the phone but that's it. Very few people talking in public while at the grocery store, etc. I mention this because an e-newsletter that I received from Susan Roane, aka the Mingling Maven & author of HOW TO WORK A ROOM, that told the story of a woman who wore her Bluetooth to an associate's funeral. No word on whether the woman accepted calls but to even have the gadget on her ear is completely disrespectful of the family who sustained the loss.
So, here are my posting questions of the moment...
What do you consider rude cell phone or other gadget related behavior and how often do you encounter that behavior? How do you respond when you witness such behavior?
Looking forward to your comments!

I got home yesterday

2006-07-15T07:53:00.000-07:00

One crazy night of driving was plenty for me. I was much kinder to myself for the rest of the trip. On the way from NM to OK, I had a weather scare. I was driving through TX and saw some really dark clouds with what looked like fingers/tails/streamers flowing from the HUGE black cloud. The sky turned a weird shade of yellow too. I thought that a funnel cloud might be forming since I was traveling in tornado country. I stopped at a rest stop and as I went in I said to myself, "It's okay. God is with you through the storm." I kept walking and then said, "God, I know you are with me through the storm but I am still scared. Help me in my fear!" When I came out of the shelter, I looked over at the cloud and there was a rainbow in it. I also turned on the car radio and heard the signal for the emergency broadcast system. The alert was for severe T-storms and hailstorms in a county that I was not driving through but could have been a neighboring county for all I knew. I was still kinda scared but then the alert ended and Christian music started playing. I read the rainbow and the music as signs from God that He heard my prayer and I would be safe. I kept looking at the cloud and then remembered that Peter fell when he looked at the waves so I stopped looking at the cloud. Since arriving home, I checked the internet and found that the cloud I saw was most likely one of those severe T-storms and hail storms (photo of similar cloud is posted to the blog).
I couldn't make daily entries because I had trouble getting on line in OKC and St Louis. On the trip from OKC to St Louis, I saw some really beautiful country. The Ozarks were so green! The trees were full of leaves. I loved it. Very peaceful area. I saw the Arch in St Louis - really quick because it was dark, late at night and I was driving on the very confusing freeway! After St Louis, I wound up adding an additional stop near Dayton, OH due to fatique setting in. I called an 800 to make the reservation and said that suburban Dayton was preferable. Turned out that I had enough reward points for another free night so the room would be at no expense to me! I thanked God for providing. Then, as I drove to the hotel, I kept driving and driving. The hotel turned out to be 18 miles (one way) off of my regular route. I started complaining/whining. I arrived at the hotel and my room was the BEST room that I had on my trip. I had not only a microwave (had one in OKC) but had a very, very comfortable King size bed with plush pillows and the nicest hotel sheets, I ever slept on. Holiday Inn Express - Centerville OH - really great staff - highly recommend it if you are ever near Dayton! I realized that I fell into the trap that we humans are vulnerable to...we think that life events are supposed to look a certain way and when they don't appear to be going that way, we complain. God in His faithfulness still blesses us beyond what we imagined. God got one BIG apology when I got in that room. I received a great life lesson in trust!
Hope that all of my L.A. family is doing well. I think of you often and will miss you tomorrow when I am not at Ecclesia. Remember that you are in my heart! Much love!

I drove all night

2006-07-10T17:14:00.000-07:00

Hi all! Yesterday and last night was crazy. I am certain that my farewell party attendees knew that I would be running behind. Running behind barely describes what happened. Tom Marshall, party organizer extra-ordinare and expert small vehicle packer, helped me get the car packed and dispose of my unsold stuff. All told I finally hit the road at 4:30 pm. I then drove all night - by the Power of God, I made it to Albuquerque at 8:30 am their time (7:30 am Pacific) - I caluculated that I was indeed awake for 25 hours! I have gained new empathy for medical residents! Thankfully, the weather was great - I had a nearly full moon to drive by. I decided to push the rest of my cross-country drive back a day, and I spent the day here in Albuquerque. Not doing much until my senses return! Thank you for all of your prayers. If you post a comment, please let me know how I can pray for you. That's one of the ways that I keep alert while driving! I included a photo of the view of the Rockies from my hotel room window. Much love : )

Thanks for the great send off

2006-07-08T23:27:00.000-07:00

Greetings one and all. Short entry for now because I am ready for some sleep.
Many thanks to everyone who attended my bon voyage party this evening. As I cruise cross-country, I will be thinking of you along the way. Might even be able to get a photo or two uploaded to this blog.
Though miles will be between us, I promise to keep in touch. You gotta hold up your end of the deal too! : )